I could show you my Instagram-worthy view of life right now. Painted nails, self-decorated notebook, organic vanilla yogurt, and freshly made popcorn sprinkled with butter and Real Salt. #blessed.
I could show you my unfiltered view of life. Just like the Instagram view, but with some other things added.
This is the view of life with the gnawing ache that I’ve debated using Netflix to push aside. The one with understanding mixed with vague shock that my mother isn’t around any more, and never will be. The disappointment that any highlight of my life from now on – even something like a haircut – can’t be shared with my mom.
What hashtag do you put on that?
Let me ask you to do something. Not for my sake, but for yours. If your parents are still around, love them. Do what you can to let them know. Tell them. Speak the words, look them in the eye.
“You never know what life will bring.” I’m irritated at my new experience with this saying. I never thought it would bring this. But yes, life is short and you don’t know what it will bring. The beginning of my mother’s tests to her last days in the hospital was only six months. Her leaving was sudden and unexpected.
And yet, I know that I’m one of the lucky ones. I know that when it all is said and done, I’ll see my mom again. I have no regrets. And I got to say goodbye.
So many people don’t have that.
It still hurts, though.
Don’t do it out of fear of the unknown, but do it out of the opposite of fear: love. Don’t assume your loved ones know that they’re “your loved ones.”